Book Review: Some Assembly Required: A Networking Guide for Women

By Margaret McCaffery, president of Canterbury Communications, a Toronto marketing/communications agency specializing in professional services firms. An award-winning consultant, she has advised many law firms, from very large (700 lawyers) to very small (six lawyers). She has built marketing departments in large firms and provided marketing strategy and services on an outsourced basis to small firms. Margaret can be reached at 416.782.7828 or cantrbry@interlog.com.

This book is a sequel to Thom Singer’s Some Assembly Required: How to Make, Grow, and Keep Your Business Relationships. It springs from a networking relationship: Thom’s publishers had suggested a book specifically for women and Thom realized he wouldn’t be able to write this one alone. Who should he meet in the airport but Marny Lifshen, someone who had been part of his network for years.

I have to admit, I cringed a bit about reading this pink- covered book in public places like restaurants or the subway. I mean, we should be able to network without needing lessons, right? And why should women need different advice from men? I needn’t have worried: the authors are refreshingly down to earth about the fact that yes, networking comes naturally to some, but even they can benefit from being more strategic with their efforts. And yes, networking is in large part the same for men and women, but women face both challenges and opportunities that differ from those men face.

Get your copy of Some Assembly Required: a Networking Guide for Women in the LawMarketing store for just $22.95

There is much common sense in this 184-page, simply written book.  I particularly liked the focus on the differences between personal and professional friendships. Being someone who likes to keep home and work reasonably separate, I’ve often struggled with the concept that you should develop client relationships into friendships (“make your friends your clients and your clients your friends”).  This book looks that issue squarely in the face and defines the difference, recognizing that business decisions will often test friendships, especially if you have to give performance feedback.

Starting with a clear description of the four steps in networking, the authors lay the groundwork for the idea that you will always network, not just when you need a job, or clients. I liked their analogy that networking is like dieting: it doesn’t work if you stop. They list the four steps as Introduce, Educate, Build, and Maintain. I was pleased to see the emphasis on maintaining already strong relationships, having seen many lawyers take their biggest clients for granted (“Oh, they’re just putting out an RFP because the rules say they have to; the work will still come to us, don’t worry”).

The other emphasis I liked was on networking as a two-way street: to get, you first have to give. Haven’t we all known that contact who turns up in your voicemail or email inbox only when she’s looking for a new job? You pass on some names, you give a reference maybe—and don’t hear from her again until the next time she needs the power of your network. Lifshen and Singer talk about reviewing networking opportunities as much for what you can put into them as what you can get out of them, because that’s the way you’ll gain credibility.

The format of the book reinforces the points made with short scenarios as examples. The examples are sometimes practical, sometimes psychological, but always realistic. Often they will give two examples, one of networking gone wrong and one where it goes right. The examples are from all walks and stages of life, so you can always find something that fits your circumstances. The advice ranges from strategic (choosing the right organizations) to practical (where to stash your business cards when you don’t have pockets). Also, at various points each author will weigh in with some personal observations about what’s worked for them. Thom is particularly honest about not realizing at first that there were differences of approach to networking between men and women: “I spent my career building business relationships with both men and women, but I did so from the perspective of a man.” Each chapter ends with a FAQ section that address those “Yes, but...” situations, like “What do I do if I can’t remember someone’s name?”

There’s even a chapter about online networking, although if you’re looking for information about how LinkedIn and Twitter really work, you’ll have to go elsewhere. Rather, Lifshen and Singer talk about networking online as just another place to be, where you can reach a wider network quickly. The same rules apply: participate on a listserv only if you’ve got something helpful to say, keep it professional, and give it the time it needs to be successful.

The final chapter of the book is entitled “Networking for Mommies” and yes, I did cringe at that. I’ve always resisted phrases like “The Mommy Track”, because successful women don’t stop being competent in their careers when they have children, they just need more flexibility—as does anyone who experiences a life-changing event. Once again, the authors take a common-sense approach to the fact that networking can be even more important while at home with children, or juggling work and family responsibilities.

Who should read this book? I’d give it to female associates, marketing staff, and any woman just starting her own practice or other business.